This piece is based on my
experience of living in three different locations that I have called home. In
our fast-paced world with mobile jobs and newer and bigger opportunities that
come knocking from any corner of the world, I find it difficult to imagine how
my parents decided to build a home, a year before their marriage and still
continue to live there. Newer trends of globalisation do not allow such luxury,
I guess.
I have grown up in Guwahati, in a
neighbourhood with people of the same religion, caste and family. The neighbourhood
is tied together by the same festivals, religious ceremonies, social norms, cultural
celebrations, food habits and some similar orthodox dos/don’ts that makes us
upper caste. However, there is nostalgia attached to such bondings as well. I
remember the grand-mother from right in-front of our house often teaching my
mother religious norms and what to do/not do on certain cultural celebrations.
Conversations/ get-togethers are often around such celebrations. Gossips are
also around the same celebrations on who could keep the sanctity of the
celebrations going and who faulted some of it. As a kid, I remember going door
to door to distribute the offerings of the religious celebration only because
we all follow the same.
However, these rituals kept the neighbourhood
together. At least when we would go out of town, people would come enquiring
why they have not seen us for a while. One of my most memorable day which I
enjoyed a lot was when almost the entire neighbourhood visited us, post my
class 10 results. Distributing sweets for good results was also a happy thing
to do back then. I valued these relations only after I moved out of Guwahati.
My next ten crucial years of
life, when I learnt so many things on my own- the age of 18-28 I spent in the
next neighbourhood of uptown South Delhi. The first few years of this
neighbourhood was marked by absolute apathy. I did not know who my neighbours
were and they did not know me either. I have to agree that I quite enjoyed that
status during my early twenties. I was one in the crowd, no one knew me or my
results – I could do anything, wear anything, be anyone without any judgemental
eyes and that felt like freedom. I adjusted well to this setting.
But the years that followed the
initial years were bitter. As high-end as South Delhi sounds, the use of slang
and the rude vocabulary is also another feather on the crown. I adjusted to
this as well. Unknowingly, I also became rude and argumentative. There was a
constant fear that anyone would cheat on you or take advantage of you if you do
not play strong or fight back. Arguments and fights with neighbours/ among neighbours
became a normal sight. Unknowingly, I would move in and out of home with creases
on my forehead and a frown on my face. Ten growing up years of my life and I
did not make a single friend in the neighbourhood apart from the vegetable
vendors, the milk man and the iron-man. I had no emotions with the
neighbourhood which made shifting out of it so much easier or in-fact a much
needed breather.
I cant help connect this apathy to the death
of one of my favourite development economics teacher who lived in South Delhi
as well. He lived alone and his death was realised only 1-2 days later when his house help knocked on the door. These made me value my Guwahati neighbours who all
connect/ speak across the windows or streets almost every day.
I also spent two months in the US
and I was surprised in the first few days to find so many smiling faces look
towards me. Everyone smiles at everyone there, it made me realise how I forgot
to smile living in Delhi. Although these smiles would not mean that they would
come enquiring about me if they did not see me but still the smiles made the
place feel very friendly.
Now, I recently moved to
Hyderabad two months back and this is the third home that I am trying to make.
We have found an apartment with many common facilities for sports and
get-togethers. We have been regularly playing and meeting some of the people
for two months every day and I already feel there are so many friendly faces
around. This time we are not connected by caste or religion, but most of the
connections that we have developed so far are through sports and leisure activities.
I slipped in the Badminton court
yesterday and I took complete rest today. There were 7-8 pings and messages
from different neighbours enquiring about my foot and this makes everything
feel so warm and wonderful- maybe something I have always missed. It is too
early to comment as this is just the beginning but lets just say I never had so
many neighbours in my contact list ever before.
Neighbours who you see every day,
I feel play a huge role in your everyday emotional health.
Comments
Post a Comment