Very soon you all will grow up to
recognize me and am sure all your parents will introduce me as your mad Aunt
(mahi or pepi). I already have many mad stories and promise to have many more
by the time you all can sit together along with the family and laugh. To start
with, right at this moment am writing you this letter with a plastered foot,
the story behind how I managed this will come to you later!
In spite of the happy, mad self
that I am; I am concerned about you all. I am concerned about the world that
you will grow up in. And I am concerned about the communal, patriarchal walls
that will tie you up in spite of the best upbringing that you will get.
You will go to school and see the
images of your nursery rhymes where the women will be shown in the kitchen and
the men will be shown with a briefcase. Your tiny mind will form its first
impression. You will sing rhymes which will read ‘the king was in the counting
house, counting out his money; the queen was in the parlor eating bread and
honey’, you will again form an impression. You might see, hear and be convinced
to play with Barbie’s and toys if you are a girl and GI-joes and cars if you
are a boy. Even if your parents are gender-sensitive, you might still want to
do that because the society will have an influence on you and you would want to
do what you see your friends doing. When I grew up and I saw my cousin brothers
run out to play cricket, secretly I wanted to go and follow them but something
within me pushed me to go and sit with my sisters and watch them play instead,
that is the influence I am talking about. These are small things that I
remember but there are many that we imbibe in us and it is entrenched so deep,
that I will not realize it to be a product of the patriarchal society that I
live in. You will be told, big boys don’t
cry or be taught to behave like a girl; and that is the reason I want each of
you to read this letter as soon as you start to comprehend sentences so that
you are conscious of the world.
You will also be told at some
point of time that you are a Hindu, and yes you are but if you ask me, we are
all humans first. Humanity is above religion. You might then ask why do we have
a religion, religion is just a way of life and no religion is wrong so you
should be free to choose your own way of life and most importantly whichever
way of life you choose; religion should teach you to love. We live in a divided
world (divided because of social, political reasons) and at this moment there
are communal tensions going on around the world and in your own nation too;
people hate each other if you belong to the other religion- I hope whichever
way of life you choose; you should only be taught to love and to love your own ones
does not mean you hate others.
Finally, I would not want you all
to grow up being cynical of this world. There are so many parts and acts in
history for which I am so proud and would love to share them with you as you
grow up. Culture and heritage is something we have in abundance and there is so
much to learn from different parts of the world, different societies. Remember,
West is not better than the East or cities are not better than the villages.
Each have their own charm and there is new learning everywhere. I just hope, my
dear tiny ones you take up the best from everything that you see, learn and
understand. Enjoy the sunshine, the smell of earth, the rainbow and grow
inquisitive about the environment.
And I promise to work hard to
raise my voice to give you a safe and comfortable space to grow up in!
Loads and loads of love,
Maina mahi/pepi.
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